Lums Pond Tri/Drunkman Invitationl

As of August 16th, we have a new triathlon event in the mid-Atlantic region: The Lums Pond Tri/Drunkman Invitational. Please, allow me to explain… Ordinarily, you just race against all the other lycra-clad idiots that are into this crazy sport and if you do well they give you a medal. Or maybe a trophy. (And once a lawn chair!) But that’s it. However, with my friend Kevin and my cousin’s husband, Chris, also registered for the race, we decided to mix it up Pete Rose-style and put some beer on the line. Each of us contributed a 6-pack of decent libation for a winner-take-all smackdown.

But when comparing my training schedule with theirs, plus each of our respective past results, it became very clear that some kind of handicap would need to be put in place. After much discussion, Chris and Kevin were matched up as even with me racing at a 20-minute handicap. (So, for me to take home the brews I had to finish 20 minutes or more ahead of both of them. No easy feat in a sprint-distance race!)

The morning of the race was warm and clear, with the water temperature hovering somewhere in the ‘lukewarm bath’ area. So, of course, it was no surprise when they announced that the swim would be WETSUIT LEGAL. I give up. I am going to start bringing comically large thermometers to races and very obviously taking the temperature where everyone can see. This might be the season’s most blatantly skewed reading yet!

As we lined up in the water for the start I overheard a few younger guys talking about their swim team’s practice sets and figured I had found my feet. The race started and it wasn’t long at all before we were pulling clear. Except I was off the front. This wasn’t the plan. I’ve really been enjoying the drafting thing recently so I slowed a bit to let someone else take the lead. Two other guys came up, went to the front briefly then backed off again. It was kind of cool to have the swim turn tactical and all along the main portion of the swim three of us took turns surging and regrouping, trying not to pull while also not letting the pace get too slow. I’m not sure what this was doing to the group behind us, but all three of us made the final turn towards shore together and came out of the water 15 seconds up on the next guys.

As we exited the first guy out of the water immediately slowed to a walk. He’d been going all out to win the non-existent swim prime and clearly wasn’t too concerned about getting out onto the bike quickly, so it looked like, for the time being, it was just going to be down to two of us unless there were some superbikers just behind.

The other guy and I came out of T1 within about 6 seconds of each other and I planned on just hanging back for a few miles and not showing any cards. With nearly 20 miles of riding I figured there would be plenty of time to make a move on the bike course. What I didn’t count on was the duathlon congestion on the road leading out of the park! Made me wonder about the length of their ‘two mile’ run as with a head start of only 5 minutes it didn’t seem possible that so many runners would have been out of T1 in under 15 minutes.

As we exited the park, my plan to hang back went out the window. I felt good so just made a move and hoped this other guy wouldn’t be able to follow too closely. I’ve been riding a ton of hills lately so I feel like my power is coming up, this ride would be a nice chance to put that assumption to the test.

Unfortunately, it was an exceptionally (like, Eagleman-caliber) flat course, so there was no really opportunity to get a big gap…instead Lums Pond is all about steadily adding to your advantage. So, I just kept my head down and tried to keep it smooth and on pace. Having ridden the course before, I knew it would be slightly tougher on the way back with a headwind and slight uphill grade. Best to just keep it sustainable.

Amazingly, about 10 miles into the bike I saw a group of riders taking up most of the right lane with some sitting up and other at the front pulling. It looked like a pack of racers but I figured it couldn’t be. Who would be so blatant about cheating to sit in a pack of 12? (And why at the local Lums Pond race? There’s no prize money at stake, trust me…) Given that it was a Sunday morning on a quiet Delaware road I had to assume it was just a club’s group ride that happened to wander onto the course. I made myself known with an ‘on your left’ and the group calmly called out that there was a rider back. Yet, as I passed them, I saw they were all sporting race numbers! I couldn’t believe it. Despite seeing some ‘ethically questionable’ riding at a few races this year, this was my first sighting of a full-on pack of cheaters who weren’t even trying to hide it.

The one silver lining - as I found out after the race from Chris, who’d spotted the pack as they came out of the turnaround - was that they had split just after I passed them. Apparently a small group tried to jump on my wheel, couldn’t hold on, and ended up stringing out. So, I guess I did a small part, but really, I just find the idea of intentionally cheating in a race like this so odd…

After some vehicular congestion (and a bit of swerving on my part) coming back into the park, hit T2 leading the tri (though with a few of the ‘du-ers’ still ahead.) Just three miles to go, but as always I was ready for some fleet-footed guys to come up from behind. I felt good and was still in the lead at the turnaround. Spotted second place about a minute back and did my best to look confident and smooth on the run. (For me, this requires some Oscar-caliber acting!) But actually felt rather good and even managed to pass 5 or 6 guys from the Du, including one wearing a duathlon national champion jersey! (OK, so it was from an age-group more than a few brackets above mine, but still…)

Came into the finish feeling strong and ended up taking the overall by about 35 seconds. Interestingly, my ‘3 mile’ run took me 16:50, a 5:37 pace. (No, I haven’t improved that much. I mapped the course later and it ended up being 2.8 miles. But that still put me at 6:02 per mile, by far my best sprint run of the year.) Most exciting was that I finally managed to crack the top 10 for run splits, having the 8th fastest of the day. It’s getting there…

But the real race was still on! I crossed the line with a total time of 1:14:33 so Chris and Kevin had until 1:34:33 to get themselves home if they wanted the beer. I have to say, I could almost taste a cold Honey Moon, followed by a nice, dark Yuengling Porter and then finished off with a Yuengling Lager. Mmmmm…

As the time drew ever closer, still no sign of them… That beer was as good as mine! But then, there was Chris, in the distance (and easy to spot as he’s English and hence one of the mid-Atlantic regions paler competitors) running for the line. He put on a finishing sprint and…well, we didn’t know. I hadn’t bothered to remember the anything past the minutes of my time, thinking he’d either be under or well over. This one was going to go to the clock!

After the typical post-race snacking, the results were posted. Chris’ time: 1:34:26. Unbelievable! He’d beaten the 20 minute handicap by 7 seconds and rightfully claimed an 18 bottle prize. (Actually, it was 17, I dropped one of mine on the way to the race.) I took some solace in the fact that apparently I’m a pretty good triathlon handicapper, but that sure wasn’t going to quench my thirst. Alas, I won the war…but lost the battle. (And yes, just about every day I get some reminder from him about how he just barely has time to do something, but usually makes it by 7 seconds…)